So am I back now after five months, essentially smoke-free? No, I am not. I failed that attempt -- almost right away, I have to admit. Another wash in a sea of quit-attempts.
But I'm here again. Back on the wagon. My new friends, other than prayers, are water and mint gum. And exercise. I realize that I have to substitute something for smoking. It's cold turkey, and I have a steep, arduous climb ahead. It's a climb I made six years ago and thought I had won. I was at the top of the mountain, I had made the summit, but I never made the descent. Overconfidence was my downfall. This time, I won't tell myself, "I've quit, so I can enjoy one now and then if I want to."
I have set myself a firm goal of 40 days. Forty days to get clear enough to where I can deny the urges with much more ease. I remember when I quit smoking in '07. After about two months, I had reached a point where I still got urges now and then, but I felt like I could take it or leave it. Since I felt like I could leave it, I did. And I made it to three and a half months. That was when I knew I didn't have a problem denying any urges that came up, so I felt I could be a social smoker. That was the trap that snared me.
Three and a half months from now will be about Oct. 7. Getting there will get me back to where I was in 2007, and at that point I will know not even to flirt with smoking another cigarette. And the good thing is, I'll be able to freely say
NO.
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